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Neil Morrissey: ‘I felt like I’d been shot out of a crossbow. Everyone wanted a piece of me’

Neil Morrissey

How do famous names spend their precious downtime? In our weekly My Saturday column, celebrities reveal their weekend virtues and vices

9am

My day is driven by what’s on the telly. I get up and make a giant mug of tea ready to watch Saturday Kitchen. I am a total foodie and they get great chefs and guests.

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11.30am

I have half an hour before Football Focus starts, so I have a quick shower. Now my appetite has been awakened, I’ll toast a couple of crumpets and slather them in butter. I can easily spend a day off in my dressing gown. I grew a really long beard for my latest drama, Finders Keepers, which I couldn’t wait to shave off, but I kept a bit back for a long moustache with twirly bits on the end for a play [The Crown Jewels]. I didn’t mind it, but the missus hated it!

12pm

Football Focus theme tune starts. I don’t play – I very rarely exercise. It’s 300 steps to my local pub, The Prince near Alexandra Park, and if I take the long way round, I can burn a few more calories. Busy filming schedules or stage plays keep me pretty fit.

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1pm

I’m not big on lunch unless someone is taking me out to schmooze me – then I can make it last until about 7pm. I’ll walk to the shops to buy food for dinner. The Hampstead Butcher on Muswell Hill Broadway is brilliant. I also like to potter at nearby Myddleton Road Market, not that I need anything. My life is full – especially now I have an air fryer.

2pm

I might reward myself with a pint from Victoria Stakes before walking home. If I’m not working, I love hanging out in the pub with a pint of IPA. It’s like man therapy. I’ve got lots of local friends who have nothing to do with showbusiness. I feel fortunate to have been working for 40-odd years. I try to stay professional but I’ve never got lah-dee-dah.

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4pm

My partner Em [Emma Killick, a lawyer] and I smash books. I can read two in a week, plus scripts. If I’m not filming, I’m a homebody. We have a second home in south-west France, where it’s really quiet and no one knows who I am. Little old ladies elbow me out of the way at the mushroom stall at the local market. 

After starring in Men Behaving Badly, it [fame] felt like I’d been shot out of a crossbow. Everyone wanted a piece of me, but it’s nowhere near as bad as that now. Besides, as I’ve got older, I care less about what anyone thinks about me. I’m happiest in my hammock with a good book, a glass of red wine and a gentle breeze. I’ve read a lot of Barbara Kingsolver, Tim Winton and Hilary Mantel. I’ll have music on in the background. I’ve got eclectic taste, from Pokey LaFarge to ZZ Top.

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6pm

If we’ve not got plans, I’ll pop out for a Bloody Mary at Lyon’s in Crouch End and order a side of fish collars. Then home to cook.

7pm

I love having friends around for dinner. I’ll ask someone to bring a pudding because I can’t make them. We’ll start off with a wine and bits and bobs, then I’ll cook up a steak with red wine.

9pm

We’re big on games in our house. My latest favourite is Kluster, a table game with magnets. Then we’ll break into a kitchen disco until 1 or 2am. I’ve still got it.

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3am

When it’s just the two of us, we’ll binge watch a series like The Tourist. We watched it for six hours the other night until 3am. Brilliant.

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