A parent is fuming after a mom invited herself—and her kid—to her daughter’s pricey birthday party.
They shared the delicate dilemma to Mumsnet, under username Aliciasattic, explaining their little girl was turning 8 in August.
They told the birthday girl she could invite six people, saying: “It’s an activity so fairly pricey per child, hence the numbers.”
But another mom invited herself after an awkward conversation, as Aliciasattic wrote: “One of the school Mum’s asked me if my DD [darling daughter] was attending an event that coincides with the date of the party and I foolishly said, no because it’s her birthday and she’s having a party.
“The [mom] instantly said, oh ok I’ll say no to the event then as she (her DD) would much rather go to your party. The kids have literally never played together.”
They later kicked themselves for their reaction, saying: “Instead of replying, sorry she’s not invited I sort of sheepishly murmured something about having to go and headed off. I’m now stressed out about this, should I just let the kid come?
“Or was the [mom] being cheeky to just assume her kid was invited? There are lots of smaller parties in the class, so nothing new there.
“For what it’s worth she seems like a nice person, although I don’t know her particularly well and my DD has never had any negative experiences with the other kid.
“But still, there’s other kids she’d rather invite if there was the option of an extra space and I feel like I’ve been backed into a corner. I’m annoyed with myself but also finding the whole thing a bit stressful and awkward.”
The post, which can be read here, amassed more than 100 responses since being shared on Tuesday, as fellow parents weighed in.
Pheasantplucker2 commented: “Just send her a message saying sorry if we’ve got our wires crossed. Dd is having a very small party with just 5-6 close friends so feel free to do the other social thing instead.”
AgathaMystery said; “I would simply say to her next time you see her; ‘please don’t cancel an arrangement because of DD party, we are only having 5 children to the party.’ And leave it at that.”
Meraas wrote: “YANBU [you are not being the a**hole], just be direct and tell her dd is only having a small group for her party.”
Knockyknees fumed: “There’s nothing to “uninvite” the girl from as she wasn’t invited in the first place! Anyone who thinks they, or their child, is instantly invited to something just because it’s mentioned in a conversation, is either a CF or incredibly thick.”
Tohaveandtohold thought: “Because you didn’t say it immediately that it’s only for 5 children, I would just suck it up and invite the girl. But if you can’t, just send a nice tactical message now.”
Drpet49 stated: “You need to fix this. Your daughter has picked her closest friends. You can’t invite this other girl—your daughter will be so disappointed.”
Lollipoprainbow remarked: “I wouldn’t dream of assuming my dd was invited to a party on this premise, bizarre !!”
While FabFitFifties added: “Voted YABU [you are being the a**hole] but I meant for being a wimp at the time. Make it clear—not fair on your daughter to invite her if she was limited in choice and had to leave other friends out.
After going through the advice, Aliciasattic, thought to be from the U.K., said: “I agree it probably sounds like I was a bit rude to mention the party if I wasn’t going to invite the kid. Believe me I realised the second I said it…”
After chatting with the birthday girl, the parent added: “I think the Mum never meant to be cheeky and is actually pretty friendly and nice, I’ve messaged the details. One more kid won’t break the bank and will learn to keep my trap shut next time.”
