- When you’re dating someone new, you probably want to know if they like you as much as you like them.
- After a few dates, you should trust your gut and look for promising patterns, a therapist said.
- Things like check-in rituals and insightful questions could signal mutual interest.
If you’ve ever crushed hard on a new love interest, you may have felt the urge to analyze their every action and decipher their words for hidden meaning as you try to figure out if they like you back just as much.
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But everyone shows their romantic interest in different ways. Some prefer to be forthright about their budding feelings, but others can feel too anxious to say how they feel, primarily using their actions to express interest instead, according to therapist Alfonso Ferguson.
He said that you shouldn’t read into interactions with your new partner too much.”Trust your gut as much as you can,” Ferguson told Business Insider. However, if you’re still feeling uncertain — because you haven’t felt this way before, or have major brainworms from “red flag” relationship TikTok videos — Ferguson said there are a few signs you can look out for.
“These aren’t things that you’ll see on a very first date, or in the first encounter,” Ferguson said. But if you notice this person consistently does these things, it means your relationship is mutual, he said.
They initiate plans
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If a love interest is really into you, they’re going to want to see you again, and will make that known, according to Ferguson.
This can look like them asking for another date while you’re currently on one, or reaching out over text or the phone soon after to say, “Hey, what’s your schedule like next week? I want to see you again soon,” Ferguson said.
He said that initiating plans could be a sign of intention, something that builds intimacy and trust in a couple, no matter the relationship stage they’re currently in, BI previously reported.
They fit you into their schedule — even when they’re busy
If your new boo isn’t reaching out to make plans, it might seem like they don’t like you as much as you like them. But don’t assume that, Ferguson said.
He said that for some folks, the anxiety of being rejected can cause them to avoid reaching out first in the early stages of a romance. And for people in same-sex relationships, it can be difficult to determine expectations about who does the asking out when you’re just starting to know them, Ferguson told BI. (He regularly counsels LGBTQ+ clients, who say straight, opposite-gender dating norms can make this situation feel even more confusing to navigate.)
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But luckily, there’s another simple way to gauge your lover’s interest in you — it just involves a little bravery on your part. If you express interest in connecting first, either in-person or over the phone, they find a way to make it work, according to Ferguson.
Even if someone’s life is already full of work, friends, and family responsibilities, they’ll create space for you if they want to build a connection, Ferguson said.
You have a check-in ritual
After you’ve been on a few dates, getting into a low-key ritual with your lover could be another sign of a promising connection, said Ferguson.
If you and your honey get into the routine of sending each other good morning or good night texts, scheduling weekly FaceTime calls, or passing silly memes back and forth, it’s a sign they’re invested in your relationship, according to Ferguson.
He said that consistent check-ins, even brief text- or picture-based ones, show they’re thinking about you and are available to you.
They ask you insightful questions
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If someone wants to take their connection with you to a deeper level, they’ll also make it a point to ask about things like your tastes, opinions, and important relationships, according to Ferguson.
“It should go beyond, ‘What are you doing?’ It’s about trying to get to know you better,” he told BI.
